• Colleges are changing the way that they consider who to accept by paying more attention to signs that students are likely to enroll. In other words, the ball that they used to control is now in your court.
• Colleges are nervous that many of the students who have applied will turn them down for colleges that are closer to home. They are worried about whether you will accept their offer in April or May and enroll in classes in the fall.
• Colleges used to be able to charge more because there was more demand from applicants for limited spots and families were more financially confident (i.e. willing to pay for higher tuition with less aid). This year, financial aid offers from private colleges, especially, are expected to be more generous to turn student applications into “bargain hunter” enrollments.
• Show your top college choices that you are genuinely interested. Because many of us are spending less money on travel, you may have not been able to make a campus visit. Contact an admissions officer to let them know you are seriously interested in enrolling, so you can be added to their “most likely to enroll” list.

• How many times did you call?
• How many times did you visit their college website?
• Did you visit the campus once, multiple times, at all?
• Did you apply early?

Although it might be hard to celebrate your own good news when your friends are feeling so lousy, it is easier to lend an ear or a shoulder to cry on. Here are some ways that you can be a sympathetic friend:

1. Be a good listener. Once the initial shock of rejection wears off, your friend might be ready to vent. Let him or her guide the conversation. Remember, although you can sympathize, you can’t empathize—you’ve got your plans mapped out already. You know all too well how much time and energy you’ve focused on college lately, and it turned out well for you. It’s the flip side for your friend, so be sensitive. Don’t offer advice, just listen.  

2. Be supportive of other college options. There are many people whose so-called “safety schools” turned into their dream schools in the end. College will be what you and your friends make of it, no matter where that happens to be. Not getting into a first-choice school is not the shattering of a life dream, although it certainly must feel like that for your friends at this point in time. Keep in mind that this is a setback, but not a failure. Your friends will still go on to become the doctors, lawyers, actors, politicians, etc. that they want to be because of their hard work and discipline, not because of where they will spend the next four years. Help them to focus on aspects of college that will be the same no matter where they go, like living in dorms, choosing classes, and making new friends.  

3. Pick a new topic of conversation. Your friend might very well prefer to talk about anything else but college. Surely there’s something else you can talk about; after all, you were friends long before you went on your first campus tour, right? Whether it’s gossiping about celebrities, discussing starting lineups, or simply commenting on the weather, a new conversation topic will allow your friend’s brain a much needed break from the question, “What do I do now?”

This is not to say that you should stifle your own inclination to rejoice in your college acceptance. If perhaps this is a better time to celebrate with your family, then hold off on a festivity with friends until your circle has a better handle on their plans for the fall.

Image by Carlo Nicora and used under a Creative Commons license.